Powerful Keys for Building Strategic Networks

“This guy on TV”

“You mean Professor Pat?”

“Oh, he is now a Prof.?”

“Yes, that is Professor Pat Utomi. So, what were you trying to say?”

“Enh Pat Utomi was my classmate. We used to play in class together!”

“Okay???”

Oftentimes, we hear someone beside us say that he knows a popular figure personally. He goes on to say that they have been known to each other from way back. But now, you cannot trace any connection between both people. They are simply worlds apart.

So, what happened?

First, the essence of the ‘mate’ word is merely assumed and indeed fallacious. Age mate, flatmate, roommate, classmate, office mate, and whatever ‘mate’ you know – none of these is a true reflection of equality. And when we try to make everyone equal in our sight, we blind ourselves to the advantages that they might have over us.

To evaluate people based on where they are coming from or where they presently are is a bad mistake. You have to even recognize that not all advantages are recognizable. Don’t always try to feel equal to everyone around you, lest you miss out on what they have that you need to get to your next level.

“Honor all men,” is the recommendation of the first apostles. Shun over-familiarity and don’t compete with someone that you ought to be honouring.

Joseph understood that the king’s cupbearer was his prison mate, but not his “mate.” The thief at Jesus’ right hand understood that Jesus was his cross mate, but not his “mate.” A genuine “remember me” earned Joseph an invitation to the palace. Over a millennium later, a thief rode on the same words to paradise!

Now, why not ask yourself, “How do I evaluate people – by their past, present or future?” “Am I merely feeling equal to the people around me?” “Who am I competing with that I ought to be honouring?”

In her later years, Maya Angelou remarked, “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” If people will remember how we made them feel, then the big question is “What creates feelings?”

Answer: the experience of value.

That brings me to the second point. There is a difference between knowing someone and having a connection to them. Being in the same environment gives you the privilege of knowing and being known by someone but connecting with them usually entails an exchange of value - not business cards.

You have to take responsibility to make the first deposit even without expecting anything in return. Unfortunately, most people usually start on the wrong foot by attempting to make a withdrawal where they have not made a deposit. That is why we must heal from the entitlement mentality.

That someone has something that you desperately need is no basis for you to get help. At least, you have to consider that after helping you, that person’s problem still lives with him. In fact, in a way, it is an injustice for you to get his help and leave him without help. It actually feels like rape!

When I mentioned that you should recognize people’s advantages, it is so that you can treat that person honourably and leave a good feeling with which you will be remembered subsequently. I do not mean that you should discard your own advantages; rather, use your advantages to build strategic networks – and the way to do that is to serve others.

This is what Jesus meant when He said that you should “use worldly wealth to gain friends for yourselves, so that when it is gone, you will be welcomed into eternal dwellings.”

Joseph used his talent in dream interpretation to sow a seed of remembrance in Pharaoh’s cupbearer. The thief engaged his good communication skills to persuade his fellow criminal about Jesus’ innocence and superiority. Jonathan used his privilege of royalty to favour David.

This is how people failureproof their dreams and make themselves success-bound. They stamp their impact on the hearts of their “mates” and get remembered for it in high places. When you have heartily served someone, the fear of his or her rising becomes needless because you know that their progress will surely favour (rather than hinder) you.

To your greatness,

Bright UK
Leadership Expert