Theory of Human Value: How Valuable are You?

When a child is born, he automatically becomes the pride of his parents.

The sheer joy of beholding the beauty of his “tear-rubber” face, the little grin on his lips, and that feeling from the tightened grip of his tiny fingers make everyone to regard him as a wonder of the world.

That special regard equally comes with special treatment: his needs are provided for, his cries are attended to, and his mistakes are overlooked as “innocent.” It is this kind of special treatment given to him without his labouring to earn anything that makes him develop an “entitlement mentality.”

It seems like he should never grow up and labour for himself. Alas, life happens inevitably and he loses almost all the advantages of childhood as he transits into adulthood.

He trades his beauty for strength, his innocence for experiential knowledge and his meekness for some measure of ‘ego’ and dependence for independence.

We all experience this phenomenon but what may be unknown to many is that while physical changes take place automatically, mental changes do not follow accordingly. This is why many people transit into adulthood without laying down their entitlement mentality and are deemed irresponsible as they tend to place the responsibility of their lives on other people.

There are entitled adults everywhere. It is even better to say that we all suffer from an entitlement mentality but in differing degrees. In fact, the ones who suffer it most discern and acknowledge it least.

Entitled people blame others for their predicament. They expect favours from where they have not sown – other people’s labours. They easily take grace for granted and show little gratitude for what they are gifted, leaving others emotionally depleted.

Because of these, many helpers lose interest in entitled people and leave them disillusioned as they keep seeking the special treatment they were once entitled to at infancy. Their interpretation of their circumstances is that they are “victims of a wicked world that does not care.”

Entitled people are eventually stuck for many years on the same spot and never make any progress until they realize this anomaly and deliberately begin to deal with it.

What entitled people don’t realize is that as one transits from childhood to adulthood, the parameters with which other people judge his value also changes – from intrinsic to extrinsic.

As humans, we all possess intrinsic value. That means, we are all valuable because of our design – we are all bundles of possibilities. Our parents – and other adults around – reinforced this intrinsic value by the special treatment they afforded us.

When they attended to our cries, the message they were passing across is “your feelings are valid.” When they listened to our gibberish, they were just saying to us, “your voice and opinions matter.” They did all that to help us gain awareness of our intrinsic value.

In fact, all that effort was geared towards producing in us self-esteem, dignity and confidence. And the degree of a person’s self-worth can be traced to the skillfulness of his parents in reinforcing his intrinsic value. (That is why I consider parenting a big deal – it can determine the destiny of a person – and nations.)

But asides our intrinsic value, we also have extrinsic value – which depends on how well we unwrap the bundle of possibilities to make it visible to others. To say it in another way, intrinsic value focuses on our potential but extrinsic value focuses on our performance and productivity. In adulthood, value has to be perceived to be acknowledged. And it is only perceived when it is demonstrated.

Ore is valued for its potential but gold is valued for its appearance – its usability and usefulness. 

As we transit into adulthood, we have to deliberately work on matching our performance with our potential – this is a crucial case for continuous personal development which makes an individual personally effective and productive.

Without personal development, we become overly reliant on others to do for us what we ought to do for ourselves – we put ourselves at the mercy of men. On the flip side, personal development not only makes us independent, but it also makes us relevant in the lives of others. And with relevance comes both influence and wealth.

While development is a personal affair, it manifests publicly as the ability to solve problems. “The quickest way to gain leadership,” says John Maxwell, “is to solve problems.”

And unlike in childhood when age determined leadership (natural leadership like this also reinforced entitlement mentality), those who develop themselves better lead others in adulthood.

We are in a world where people carry invisible crosses. Everyone you meet has a problem brought upon him by nature or a challenge attracted to him by the force of his aspirations. In fact, because we will always have problems and challenges, men of skill will always be in demand.

People might not like your face. They might not like the colour of your skin. They might not like your religious preference and political perspectives. But if you have a skill that can solve their peculiar problems and challenges, they will still want to be associated with you. And they would not mind paying you for the solutions you bring along.

So, do you want to be influential? Start solving problems and challenges for others. Do you want to solve problems? Start developing skills. Your relevance is tied to your resourcefulness, and your resourcefulness is tied to your skillfulness.

A doctor cures a patient of his disease(s). A teacher gives knowledge to a student. A cobbler makes and repair shoes for people. They are solving problems with their skills.

Entitled people are known for the problems they have; responsible people are known for the problems they solve. Or haven’t you noticed that there are some people whose calls you pick reluctantly or even prefer to neglect altogether? Why? Because they are most likely making demands on you without adding value to you. You don’t want to be that kind of person to your acquaintances, friends and mentors.

So, in 2020, unwrap your bundle of possibilities by learning skills. The skill you learn today will make you an asset tomorrow. Go back to school, if need be. Attend paid classes. Volunteer somewhere. Sign up for internship or apprenticeship. By all means, increase your value by gaining more skills.

To your greatness,

Bright UK

Leadership Expert