Insights for Leading

In the first part of this series, I wrote extensively on the need for men to cultivate domestic responsibility, hence dignifying manhood, understanding the value of female folks and building our influence from the home, as we proceed from boyhood to adulthood. I also highlighted that negligence of DR as a core course has caused a great deal of societal disorder and occasioned the feminist movement. In this sequel, I want to underscore two more important points on our part that is necessary to erase mediocrity and restore dignity to manhood. First, strong men are gentlemen and one distinguishing factor of a gentleman is his respect for the rule of courtesy especially with regards to the opposite sex. We should open the door for ladies, give up our seat for them, allow them first choice, compliment them positively for their appearance, especially when they get a new hair-do, clothes or jewelleries. The list cannot just be exhausted here. Our words have a powerful effect on ...

This is to my fellow male folks, but ladies would also consider it a good read. C’mon, fella let’s talk man-to-man. Have you heard of domestic responsibility (for me, also known as DR)? And better still, have you cultivated it? DR is not a code for servants and slaves. No, not at all. Sons serve. Besides, manhood is a high calling and is dignified by responsibility. An irresponsible man is a contradiction in terms. We don’t have to be cooks, but we must learn to cook well. We don’t have to be dish-washers, but we must learn to wash dishes well. We don’t have to be drycleaners, but we must learn to wash and iron clothes well. We don’t have to be house cleaners, but we must learn to sweep floors and clean conveniences. Some guys out there are domestically irresponsible, yet, cosmetically luxurious. That is an excessive evil under the sun! For every lack of responsibility, a man voluntarily forfeits his legal rights and puts himself at the mercy of another – perchance, fem...

So I finally found a picture that depicts a burden that has tarried long on my mind. A teacher hands a Maths test to his ‘kid pupil’, asking what a man has after eating 29 out of 36 candy bars. ‘Diabetes’, the kid answers, ‘Bob has Diabetes.’ Back in our nursery and primary school days, we were sure that not only a well-designed ‘X’ sign to indicate a miss, but also a fierce spanking to express the teacher’s displeasure awaits that child. But who is correct – the child or the teacher? Well, it depends on what and how you want to teach the kid. The 'what' should even dictate the 'how'. Apparently, we can judge the kid to be wrong and his teacher right. But looking deeply, we know better. The number of candy bars consumed is not as important as the dangerous effect that might result, if it is true. In fact, it is the kind of wrongly-crafted teaching technique described above that has constituted a major evil today in the education system in Nigeria and be...

There is one disease that cripples the mind, dulls one’s sense of vision and results in handicap of the human will. It makes you doubt your capabilities, become too uncertain of the future, languish in self-pity and offer yourself cheap to others. That disease is called inferiority complex. While we might not readily admit it openly, we all have been infected by this virus at one point or the other. And if we look deeply, we would still discover traces of its presence in ourselves. Inferiority is a feeling of being lesser and insufficient, hence, incapable of doing certain things or achieving feats as compared to others. There are two major problems about inferiority: 1.       It is self-imposed 2.       It is established by wrong comparison The first reason explains why no one can solve the inferiority problem for his neighbour, while second explains why the problem is unnecessary. We usually talk of inferiority as a ...

It is so alarming to know that while the devil devices schemes to destroy men; many are busy devising blames to put him in the bad light as though he ever wished for anything better. Blame is soothing relief from the fear of scorn, but it will never cure your hunger for success, significance and fulfilment. Football – and other similar games – teaches us that only goal scorers can win in life and the best you can get if you live on the defensive is a draw, but you can never win! Besides, it is obvious in nature that a man of a thousand excuses is too weak to succeed. Moreover, defensiveness makes life dull! No one admires a man who is always defensive, but the one who delivers results – and better still, the one who creatively turns failure into success! For you to be that admirable person, you must discover yourself and accept responsibility. By discovering yourself, I mean having awareness of the fact that you are a unique and purposeful being with potentials for greatness. ...

In recent years, my elder brother has attributed my dexterity in various ventures to courage to damn public opinion in my growing years. And yes! He’s very correct, though that often played out unconsciously. While growing up, I learnt to read well, write calligraphically, speak fluently and charismatically in public, initiate relationships with people, play the keyboard, compose songs, sing sweetly, play football skilfully, think analytically and creatively, write articles and poetry, as well as transfer knowledge and skills to others excellently. My skills seem to give me edge above others wherever I find myself as I often play to my areas of competence. However, the beginning of all these was to damn what others said no matter how terrible I performed initially. I love challenges and I am not afraid of the front line! When a volunteering opportunity comes, my colleagues often ask within themselves, ‘Why me?’, but I reverse the query in my own heart, ‘Why not me?’ I can’t te...

As we journey along life’s trying course in this season of our earthly sojourn, I am sure beyond every reasonable doubt, that we are gathering much experience and learning from them. Such informs a vital part of our wisdom. However, it serves a good reminder amidst these real experiences that we are being exposed to different kind of lessons which are necessary for our time-bound and lifetime purposes. We learn of things that pertain to our respective career fields and are exposed to conditions that teach us sound wisdom for life. Both are necessary and important, hence, we must not look over any. Lessons from our respective fields give us skill and competence; life’s lessons adorn us with good character. The good thing about laying hold of both is that it brings about confidence. “ A man's wisdom maketh his face to shine, and the boldness of his face shall be changed ” ( Eccl. 8:1 ). But a lack of either might cut us short of divine purpose and leave us with feelings ...