From Probing to Solving Problems: Delaying Gratification

I don’t know about you, but anytime I hear that Nigerian delegates won few or no medals at an Olympic event, I just recall Atlanta ’96 and find solace in it.

That year, Nigeria stunned the world by defeating Brazil and Argentina at the semi-final and final respectively to win the gold medal in football, making history as the first black nation to do so. It is even more interesting to know that we won the Olympic gold medal before Brazil – where the ‘gods’ of football come from. (Brazil won it for the first time in 2016).

While growing up, I observed that many Nigerians thought that the final was played against Brazil instead of Argentina. The reason is that the victory against Brazil in the semi-final was much more remarkable. Brazil had defeated Nigeria 1-0 in the group stage. Again, in the semi-final match, Brazil led from the very first minute of the game. And in the very final minute, Nigeria’s then hero, Kanu Nwankwo, slotted in an equalizer.

The match then moved into extra time and just four minutes into it, Kanu again scored the winning goal that gave Nigeria euphoric victory as well as daunting confidence with which to see off Argentina in the final. Since then, that team has been touted as the most iconic generation of Nigerian footballers.

Everyone who has tasted victory knows how sweet it is. But do we often consider what makes victory sweeter or even sweetest? A range of factors, but the most significant, perhaps, is the unlikeliness of victory due to a series of defeats. For the most part of the semi-final game, Nigeria did not seem likely to win against a side that boasted some of the world’s best players of that generation – Ronaldo, Bebeto, Carlos, etc. As victory was delayed for long, there was a build-up of emotions that enhanced the pleasure when the victory eventually came.

Now, that sequence happened naturally. But we also can make that happen ourselves. And when we as humans make it happen, it is called “Delayed Gratification.” This is one of the significant tools and techniques of discipline required to solve life’s problems. In fact, it is both a preventive and curative tool in problem-solving, and it is one of the most important attributes of successful people.

Delaying gratification is ‘unnatural’ to us as humans. We all come into the world able and willing only to consume. We begin to develop the capacity to delay gratification as our parents help us to schedule our experience of ‘pain’ and ‘pleasure.’ “Have your bath first before you eat your food,” they said, and “Do your homework first, before you go to play.”

Interestingly, because this ability is innate, we adapt quite early and it shows up even in the games we play. As I look back, I have realized that while we cherished pleasure, we modified the games we played to derive pleasure from innocent “Daddy and Mummy” dramas to mischievous ones like telling a neighbour “Flog me first and let me flog you after.” In fact, we even began saying to ourselves “First to do no dey pain.”

Such experiences forged in us a willingness to experience our pain before pleasure. And of course, aligning one’s behaviour with the maxim “Pay first, play later” is one of the first signs of responsibility and maturity.

Unfortunately, we often lose sight of this principle in adulthood and fall prey to procrastination. To procrastinate is to reverse the order: “Play first, pay later.” When we do so, we might assume that the pain inherent in ‘painful’ activities might be reduced when we meet them but that never happens. Eventually, we keep doing easy and pleasurable things while we compound our pain for the future. When the cumulative consequences – we call it nemesis – eventually hit us, our pain becomes overwhelming.

Talk about piling unwashed plates while eating and drinking. Slaying everywhere while clothes stay unwashed. Binging on movies while toilets remain unflushed. Spending without keeping records. Enjoying TGIFs while office tasks are left undone. Procrastination simply steals our time, disorganizes our lives and disempowers us altogether!

Doing the easy and pleasurable things first is most times an unwise strategy for productivity. We ought to determine our priorities, not be ease or pleasure but by the importance and urgency of activities and tasks. I have often been caught in that web of foolishness and I am loosening its hold on me one thread at a time. I invite you to do the same.

“One hour of pain followed by six of pleasure is preferable to one hour of pleasure followed by six of pain,” said M. Scott Peck. If we imbibe this mindset, our personal effectiveness will increase by more than 100 percent. And if we spread the influence to both our children and all who observe us, we would have set into motion a national revival to reverse most of the problems we face today – including that demon of corruption that has kept us backwards for donkey’s years.

Again, I invite you to say with me:

“My problems are not perpetual, they are only temporal.”

“My problems are not exclusive, they are only personal.”

“My problems are not just meant to be, they are meant to be solved.”

“My problems are not just problems, they are opportunities to call forth my potentials, birth solutions that the world desperately needs, and inspire many others to do as I have done.”

“My problems will not remain problems; with discipline, I will change my habits and solve all of my problems.”

To your greatness,

Bright Ukwenga

The Chief Scribe