Happily, Ever After

Today, too many ladies are overwhelmed with their stature. They compare themselves with the ideal “hourglass” shape and reckon themselves to be shapeless or at least, not so beautiful. What they don’t realize is that their idea of beauty is influenced – especially by the media.

In fact, the definition of beauty has gone through many revisions in history. At one time, fat women were considered the pride of men; at some other time, the thinnest were the most attractive. The media just erects an image and magnifies it, and everyone begins to compare themselves to it. That’s insane!

Sometimes, to stop worrying, we must pause and say the Serenity Prayer: “Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.”

That brings us to the first thing you must do to determine your happiness every time: Happiness begins with gratitude and continues with a positive attitude. (This is a sequel to last week’s piece. You can read the first one here.)

Happy people carry the song of gratitude in their heart all day. They know that the ideology that you must have all things to be happy is merely a myth, so they focus on what they have, not on what they don’t have. And even when things go wrong, they focus on what is left of what is right and build their energy from there.

To be happy, you have to deliberately choose happiness by appropriating your focus. Worry does not take away your pain nor does it undo the damage already caused; it only robs you of the energy you need to move on.

The second thing you must do to increase your happiness is to serve others with all your heart. Happiness is multiplied by serving, not by being served.

We are usually neck-deep in the rat race and carried away by competition and insecurity that we forget to serve others; instead, we are seeking ways to manipulate and get ahead of them. 

The pursuit to be richer, more powerful and overall better than others in order to be happy is another insane myth. And because of the competition delusional, every effort invested in it proves futile. It is like chasing the wind. There will always be someone richer and/or more powerful than you!

Of course, we need to be rich, powerful and live good lives, so the pursuit of these things is not the problem – the problem is when that pursuit shifts us from alignment with our core. That brings leanness to our souls. Whatever we pursue must be strategic with grander objectives in view and reinforce our alignment. The goal is not just to be rich but to have enough to use and to give to others. Therefore, wealth that makes a man or woman selfish is no riches at all.

Besides, we also multiply happiness when we help others become happy and they reflect it back to others in higher measures. It is a dance of happiness. Happiness multiplies by giving it to others rather than withholding it.

“I don't know what your destiny will be,” said Albert Schweitzer, “but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve.”

To maintain the frequency of your happiness, find satisfaction in contentment rather than seeking contentment in satisfaction. This is what makes happiness consistent.

You will not always have what you want but if you choose to be content, satisfaction will automatically follow, bringing you the patience and peace you need to make the most of your next opportunity.

Besides, in the spirit of gratitude, sometimes, you just have to remember someone out there is happier with less than what you have – not necessarily because he doesn’t have more. No wonder Herman Cain said, “Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.”

To your success,

Bright UK

The Chief Scribe